Love of the Week

There was a moment about two hours into my PhD thesis defense when one of my examiners paused in his line of firing, gazed at me quizzically, and, in his plummy British accent, asked, “This is all very existential, isn’t it, Suzy?”

What, the question of what we do with our lives, existential? Who knew?

“Yes,” I exhaled wearily, because I was exhausted in every way a body and mind could be by that point, “yes, it is.”

Can I tell you this week how much I love ordinary things too? Love. I spend 99% of my life on Becoming You—teaching my students at NYU Stern, working with my team at Becoming You Labs, writing, speaking, and otherwise creating. This week, I invented a new self-discovery exercise that I am out-of-my-mind excited about, which we will now start to refine and digitize, in order to get it to you. My work, in almost every way, is my life, because it is my purpose.

But life cannot just be the big stuff.

How could I have lived this week had I not gazed (repeatedly) at the photo of my grand-daughter wearing her first scrunchy?

I could not have.

Other small things:

One day, rushing through lunch, I decided to step into the backyard and call my friend Jane for the heck of it, just to hear her melodious voice and the wisdom-y things she always says. It was like a 10-minute hug.

I was watering the plants one morning and decided to let Audrie play with the hose the way she desperately wanted to, and her little German shepherd heart exploded with joy, which was hilarious and dear to see.

I sent a friend in Illinois my favorite song, and snuck a chance to listen to it again first. Good Lord, those first five chords never get old.

I helped my daughter and her fiancee choose flowers for their wedding, and we spent a few minutes agreeing about the wonder of peonies.

I played Wordle. Everyday.

Walking home from Central Presbyterian on Sunday, I stopped for a full minute outside Prada on Madison Avenue to admire a pair of shoes. Because I was feeling saintly, I did not buy them. In full disclosure, the store was also closed.

This list of little delights…I could go on and on, and that’s just the point.

Now, I don’t think I am going out on a limb to echo my thesis examiner and say I am a big picture kinda gal.

But this week, I am dwelling in the necessity of small things. They matter. In the biggest possible way.

Hate of the Week

I’m not going to use the word “hate” to describe my experience at the Lady Gaga concert last night, because I do not want to die. Hi Little Monsters, I love you!

But I will say I had to leave early.

Look, Lady Gaga is a creative genius. Of course she is. And I understand that she is an artist who, by definition, has society’s permission to push boundaries. But her concert, to me, felt like one long journey into the heart’s most violent and morbid places. The whole thing was like Sweeney Todd on steroids. Even when she sang “Shallows,” she had herself acting out a slow descent into the pit of hell.

Cheerful!

Maybe the problem was me. The day I saw the concert, there had been that horrible school shooting in Minnesota. As soon as Lady Gaga showed up in the first moments as her darkest self, I was like, “Does this help anyone right now? Can we please just celebrate life, not death?”

OK, come at me. Come! I am willing to be wrong on this. But not until I understand why. And if someone can, I will report back, I promise.

Hmm of the Week

I am still puzzling over the fact an Instagram follower reached out this week to strongly object to my post about Taylor Swift’s engagement, in which I suggested the English teacher and the gym teacher both take the Values Bridge and compare notes.

I mean, it was a national moment. I jumped in. Maybe I should not be frivolous and ridiculous sometimes, but I am. Otherwise, how would anyone know about the height of frivolous ridiculosity, by which I mean Pierre?

But her flurry of DMs did give me pause about my propensity to be myself all over the place. Too cringe? (Her word for it.) Please let me know. Once again, I am willing to be wrong.

But remember, fewer Pierre pictures is not good for anyone.

With love,

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“What Are You Doing When You Lose Track of Time?” Four Questions to Break You Open (And Free).

Welcome to the second—and final—part of Becoming You’s special series on the secret life of your life coach. Or, precisely, on what your life coach is thinking, info that’s integral to Becoming You’s purpose to be the podcast that helps you think more deeply about yours. This week, you’ll hear four questions that are as sharp as a paring knife (without the ouch), designed to open your heart and mind, and maybe even bring healing to your soul and inspiration to your career.

Tune in Here!