Love of the Week

Paris, je t’aime. But not for the reason you might expect.

Oh fine, croissants play a role. And whatever, so does everything you can imagine. The grandeur of the Louvre. The charm of Île de la Cité. The crazy way French women always look so fab without seeming to try. Like, at all.

But the main reason I love Paris is because when I’m there, I feel totally invisible…and totally seen.

You know that Joni Mitchell song, “Free Man in Paris?” If not, you should! Oh, please! I beg you! Even though it came out in 1974, it’s one of those eternal things – its meaning, that is. It tells the story of the artist’s friend, the Hollywood mega-producer, David Geffen, wandering down the Champs-Élysées, looking like the person he never got to be at home, “unfettered and alive.”

Paris does that to people. Even high Workcentrism people, comme moi. (In the Values Bridge lexicon, that’s the value of how much you want work to shape your purpose, BTW.)

Which is why I am dragging my family there this week on the way to get my PhD at the University of Bristol. Except “dragging” is not really the right word. Everyone is excited to feel unfettered and alive. And also, eat croissants.

Now, quickly, the “totally seen” part of Paris for me. My top value happens to be Cosmos, reflecting my deep faith. Our actual main reason for going to Paris is because I have been dying to visit Notre Dame, which has been brought back to life in ways unimaginable on that terrible day we all watched it burn in 2019.

I learned about God going to Mass with my Catholic grandmother, who was the first to tell me, “Jesus was a troublemaker,” which delighted and intrigued me. (He was! And still is!) My faith journey eventually led me to call a non-denominational congregation my home, but I have always felt totally loved and known in church. Jack and I never visited Paris without praying at Notre Dame, and now I will go pray for him there, and something tells me I will feel doubly seen this time. And while that makes me a little sad, it makes me very happy too.

Hate of the Week

Like you, I hate what happened in Texas this week. Hate is not even a strong enough word. We talk about everything in the Becoming You HQ, the team and I, but we cannot bring ourselves to talk about this tragedy. It’s too much. Because the children.

Becoming You is, by definition, a community of possibility, optimism, and hope. That does not mean we can or should ignore the bad and terrible stuff. Maybe because of that bad and terrible stuff, the journey we are on toward purpose becomes all the more poignant and fragile and sweet. And sometimes we need to pause to remember that.

Hmm of the Week

I have a question stuck in my head, and for that I want to thank the amazing Heather Whitaker, a “mindset frame curator” from California who is becoming a certified Becoming You coach through the NYU | Stern Initiative on Purpose and Flourishing.

During our certification training recently, I asked each attendee for the one question they ask new clients to get the self-discovery ball rolling. O.M.G! The brilliance in that room of fifty people will never leave me. I will be sharing it, by the way, in two upcoming podcasts. Stay tuned for them!

But right here, right now, allow me to share Heather’s contribution: Right at the start, the one thing I want to know is, “Why don't you have what you want?”

Yes, Heather! What a great “shove” – if you will – onto the purpose journey. Because it’s a demand to confront, and eliminate, what’s been stopping you all along.

By the way, if you need help answering Heather’s question, there’s a test for that, which I created. It’s totally free, and it’s fast, and Heather wants you to answer her. And so do I!

In the meantime, I will keep pondering Heather’s excellent question. Although I plan to get exactly what I want in Paris, and, trust me, no one is getting in my way. 🥐

What's coming?

→ Values Day: The ONLINE Becoming You Experience, register here

→ Becoming You Three-Day Intensive in September, register here

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