Try spending an hour in my head, sweetheart.

Love of the Week

​I received a compliment when I opened my phone early this morning. It was from a friend who is also a business colleague, writing to observe a quirk of my behavior. And I want to share it here, not to brag, although God knows that’s not beyond me, but because it dawns on me I actually taught this very same behavior to my management students last week with the framing, “I’m going slightly off-topic with life advice I think you’ll thank me for when you’re 50.”

Here it is:

Lock in.

When you’re speaking to someone. When someone is speaking to you. Be still, be enraptured, be 1000% there. Do not mind-travel back to your last conversation, with its weird awkward ending. Do not float ahead to the next, because it’s making you so nervous. Do not think about how uncomfortable your new boots are, even though you spent so much money on them.

Just lock in.

​I would think, “Try spending an hour in my head, sweetheart.”

But there is a difference between the yogini and me. When I say, “Lock in,” I am not describing a woo-woo, gentle, passive state, a blissful hovering in the now. No, no, no. I am describing a fierce state of being. Actively engaged. Not just intense, but supra-intense. This is not floating above the moment. It is fully inhabiting it. It is not exhaling. It is holding your breath because you are so focused.

So, this is my m.o., this locking in, as my friend pointed out in her email. She wanted me to know that she loved it and appreciated it. Why? Because, she said, “it is experienced as care.”

Oh, I love that! That’s the intent, truly, and yes, to some it feels extra, but most people get it, and it’s stood me in good stead in my life and career. That’s why I recommended it to my students. Some of them, being of a certain age and generation, have perfectly honed an effect of worldly disengagement. My point was: Stop that.

Caring is better.

This week, bummed out by my feed on LinkedIn, I decided to hold a webinar for anyone who had just been laid off. More than 650 people registered. For 30 minutes, I described Becoming You as a way to find a next job that could be closer to their purpose. Someone on my team snapped the picture you see here. Locked in, moi?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hate of the Week

See above: More than 650 people registered for a webinar about getting laid off. In two days.

Not that I didn’t love being with these beautiful people. But the chaos in the economy pains me to my bones. It is scary out there, if not for you, for someone you love. For many of us oldsters, the economic winds have generally been at our backs. Today, we are in a hurricane season without an end in sight.

If you’d like to watch or share my webinar, please do. And by the way, as some participants did ask about it, the next Becoming You Three-Day Intensive is now officially scheduled.

I’m excited to get there in January and, you know it, lock in.

Hmm of the Week

​​A week does not go by without someone suggesting a fantastic new use for The Values Bridge. This week, one came from a therapist who sees potential in using The Values Bridge to help siblings better understand, and if need be repair, their relationships.

Good Lord, it’s a family affair!

I cannot imagine life without my magnificent sisters, Elin and Della, and we have always been a trio operating from a place of profound love and devotion, but that is not to say we have not had our differences over the decades. We are human beings, OK?

I bet values were involved! And to that end, I plan to invite them onto the podcast for an episode devoted to, drumroll please, The Values Bridge for Siblings. I hope they say yes! (Elin and Della, do you say yes?)

I am also looking for other sibling pairs or trios to come on to discuss their Values Bridge harmonies…and conflicts. If that makes you go, “Hmm,” and then, “Heck, yeah!” let me know at [email protected] and we’ll go from there. You can be sure I will be…oh never mind. (Hint: It rhymes with “Rocked Pin.”)

Everyone, thank you for reading this and from the bottom of my mellow heart,

Namaste,

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Love hurts. Love heals. Love is blind. Love conquers all. So which is it? And should you give your whole life over to finding that one special person, or treat romance as just one part of a full life?

This week I'm joined by dating and relationship coach Sabrina Zohar, author of the new book "Why Am I Like This?" to talk about the state of dating in 2026, why so many people have lost hope, and what happened when she stopped waiting to be chosen and started choosing.