“I am not afraid, I was born to do this.”

Love of the Week

​Do you believe in angels? Or more specifically, angels in trees?

I might be the least woo-woo girl in the world, but I do. I believe in them, and I want to be one.

Once again, I must beseech you to hear me out.

Whenever I teach Becoming You – at NYU Stern and at our three-day intensives – I always start by putting up a painting of Joan of Arc that hangs at the Met. Frankly, it’s not a masterpiece. Our friend Claude calls it a “brilliant near-miss,” and I would concur. But it is extremely large and packs a wallop when you stand in front of it, as I am wont to do.

Why?

Because the painting depicts the ultimate Becoming You moment.

​To her purpose.

Now, you could argue things did not end well for Joan. But she would probably disagree. She is often quoted as saying, “I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” And given her faith, I’d add, she believed her story didn’t end at the stake.

But that is not my point here.

My point is that most of us don’t get angels in the trees telling us what to do with our lives. We don’t. We have to figure it out ourselves, which we usually do in a lifelong journey with more than a few boneheaded detours.

That’s why I created Becoming You, to be honest. I had one of those journeys myself. It had its moments of joy, of course it did. But it had way too many unnecessary valleys, blind alleys, and way stations. I knew there had to be a better way to get to your fully actualized, authentic life sooner.

I knew there had to be a rigorous, systematic process to become your own angels in the trees – and for others, if so inclined as coaches, educators, and therapists, say, to be such angels for others.

And so here we are. With close to a million people using Becoming You around the world. A young mother in New Mexico, a CEO in Toronto, a high school counselor in Bahrain, a non-profit leader in (yes) Madagascar.

Who’da thunk it?

Not Joan, I’m sure. She had other things on her mind than the legions of fangirls who would someday take her as inspiration. But maybe I thought it once or twice, somewhere in the cockles of my heart, standing in front of Joan, gazing at her angels in the trees, and wishing they were real.

They are.

Hate of the Week

I hate that people do not get this about New York: it has its flaws, God knows it does, but you can have 15 interesting, intimate, hilarious conversations a day with strangers if you want to.

Case in point. I was on the subway the other day when a very dapper man looked me up and down, removed his headphones, and said, “What, did you retire your No. 6s?”

“Wore them to death,” I said.

We then spent the next ten minutes chatting happily about clogs, which I was wearing, but not the impossibly cool No. 6s, which happen to be a cult thing in our crazy city.

I’ll take it.

This, by the way, is the value of Place in action. And if you want to go on the wildest of rides, wilder even than the A train at midnight, take a listen to my most recent podcast on this very subject with Fabrizio Brienza, New York’s most hilarious accidental spokesman, here.

Hmm of the Week

​​So my hmm this week is for you to give this hack a try. Name your one thing, then ask yourself what it says about what you care about most. And please, send your ideas to [email protected].

I’ll be waiting, arm outstretched.

Until next time,

Xo

The King of New York’s Hottest Club Has Seen It All. And He’ll Never Leave.

Is this the best town in the world, or do you need to get out of here?

For some people, there’s only one answer, and it’s never negotiable.

This week on Becoming You, we skip the scholar and talk to someone who lives the value of Place, which is the value of location, out loud: Fabrizio Brienza, the “Door God” who decides who gets into Paul’s Casablanca, one of the hottest clubs in New York.

Born in Campobasso, Italy, and shaped by Miami and Los Angeles, Fabrizio is clear that after New York, everywhere else feels like going from a Rolls-Royce to a Toyota Corolla. Yes, with the rats and all. We both agree, that where you live is a gatekeeping value. You must figure this one out before you plan anything else.